My Last Day at Toy’s R Us

In this piece from “INSIDE/OUT” David played both characters.  This performance piece was devised largely from PPTG members’ memories of childhood and teen years.

{David takes stage}

I used to work at Toy’s R Us, selling toys. Yea, me a convicted felon, used to work at a toy store. I used to help people, and during the holidays I would enjoy seeing the reaction of the children when they saw the toys that they were looking for. I once bought my little sisters a Dora kitchen set. {Says in the Dora voice:} “Hi, it’s me, Dora, wanna come and cook?” They used to love when I bought them gifts.

June 14 2006. I am at work and doing what I normally do. He stocks shelves

“Excuse me Miss, do you need any help?”

A lady answers “No, I’m good, thank you.” David turns around when an elderly lady asks “Sir, excuse me, sir, I need your help.”

He responds: “Yes, what is it that you need help with?”

She responds: “I’m looking for a toy for my grandson. It’s been all over the commercials. It looks like some pacifier that makes noises.”

{David and the customer begin to search}.

As I start looking for the toy with the costumer, my boss, Jason, keeps calling for me on the walkie talky. “Dave, where are you? I need your help up front.” Meanwhile the other costumers were asking me for my help: “Sir, excuse me, can I get your assistance?”

David: “I’ll be with you in one second.”

Boss: “Dave, up front!”

Costumer: “Sir, sir, I am looking for the bike section.”

Boss: “Dave, you better not be horsing around!”

David: “My boss, he’s paranoid. Don’t worry. I’m still here.”

Costumer: “Sir where are the people who work here?”

David: “Please give me a second.”

I finally find the toy. The lady I was helping is very happy. I offer to give her a discount, she accepts and we head up front. Jason sees me, “where have you been? I have been calling you for over half an hour!”

David: “I was helping a customer.”

Boss: “It doesn’t take that long to help a customer.”

Lady: “Excuse me sir, but he was sincerely helping me. Don’t yell at him. He was very kind to me. We need more people like him in this world.”

What’s crazy about this story, is the next day, on June 15th 2006, I found myself getting arrested for assault and robbery. “We need more people like him in this world.”

Yea, ok.