In this piece, Shane responds to the Caliban/Prospero scene from THE TEMPST that was performed in MAXIMUM WILL by David and Kenny. It is a reflection on Shane’s father’s response to Shane’s birth and the relationship that developed between them.
I must eat in peace.
This hungry ghost of mine shimmering reflects my father,
Who snatched my esteem from me.
When news of me came, a bastard’s birth you decreed until a first-born son was confirmed.
A deep thirst with no quench.
I swallowed your monosyllabic seeds and grunts
As you taught me how too see myself as stupid and worthless.
Your words burn the throat of my mind as they articulate me.
Even in the midst of my desire to be the apple of your eye,
You’d show me how to split myself in two.
The fresh cut switches; me disappointing you was the pits.
Was I a blank slate for all of your insecurities?
Was I cursed just for being born your son?
All the charms you spilled into me with your kingly silence.
Soft insides bulging
Hard outsides refuse to expand
Swelling, stiffening, life-giving birth
FATHER! FATHER! WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?
Eating your darkness, jealousy, insecurity It’s complicated.
Behold the monster is born!